


nothing but a rumor that i might be yours

by bellafarallones



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fake Marriage, Love Confessions, Other, Philosophy, Redemption, asra is a supportive wingman, discussions of the nature of choice and morality for the purpose of exploring how valerius feels, so you have to pretend to be actually in a relationship, the gang finds out that you and valerius got married for legal reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25190701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellafarallones/pseuds/bellafarallones
Summary: “Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything at all?” Valerius said.“A kiss? For covering your ass in front of Nadia earlier?”Valerius laughed a little, tension loosening from his shoulders. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, just a quick kiss, but a pleasant one. He smelled like orange-blossoms and clean linen. “It’s good practice, anyway,” he said. “If we’re really doing this.”
Relationships: Apprentice/Valerius (The Arcana), Valerius (The Arcana)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 109





	nothing but a rumor that i might be yours

**Author's Note:**

> thank u molly_hats for the beta <3

It had been an unusually quiet week. Everyone was in the palace parlour, drinking tea to celebrate Vesuvia reaching Friday afternoon without a single major crisis. Valerius was playing chess with Nadia while Volta examined the bookshelf, and even Asra was in town, flirting with Julian on a loveseat.

Portia set down her teacup. “I saw something interesting today when I was looking at property records,” she said, loud enough to turn everyone’s heads. She looked like she was bursting with excitement. “Did any of you know that Valerius is  _ married _ ?” 

Oh, no. Of course you couldn’t have a whole peaceful week.

“ _ No,”  _ said Julian. “No offense,” he added hurriedly.

“I was not aware,” said Nadia delicately, but you saw her interest.

“And who is the luckiest person in Vesuvia?” said Asra with amusement.

Portia turned to look at you. Valerius, bright red behind her, met your eye and grimaced.

“Uh,” you said. Valerius wasn’t going to say anything. “You caught us?” Suddenly all eyes were on you. Nadia’s eyebrow was raised, Julian’s mouth was hanging open. Asra looked thoughtful. 

“It’s so  _ romantic,”  _ said Portia. “A secret relationship right under our noses! Why didn’t you tell us? Don’t tell me you knew, Ilya!”

Julian shook his head. “How long?”

Valerius looked at his own hands in his lap. “Almost a year. Since after the masquerade,” he said quietly. “Look, I… excuse me.” He stood and hurried out of the room, braid slithering off his shoulders to swing down his back behind him.

“Well, that’s not the reaction I was expecting,” said Portia into the silence. “Does he think we still don’t like him?”

Asra had moved from Julian’s side to yours, and covered your hand with his. “A word?” he murmured, and guided you out of the sitting room ahead of him. “Excuse us,” he said brightly to the rest of the group.

“You and Valerius aren’t secret lovers,” said Asra flatly. 

You bristled. “How would you know? You’re hardly ever here.”

“Yes, but I know  _ you. _ ” He cupped your cheek in his hand and looked into your eyes. This view, his face close-up, was the first thing you’d seen after your resurrection. His lavender eyes and halo of white hair. Now he smiled. “I’m not judging you either way, but the look on your face when Portia looked at you was hilarious.”

You deflated. “Yes. Valerius and I are not in a secret relationship. He asked me to marry him because there was a stupid clause in his father’s will that said half his liquid assets would be kept in a trust as long as Valerius was unmarried.”

“That sounds… legal.”

You sighed. “He offered me money in exchange, but I said to just consider it a favor. I should probably tell everyone the truth.”

Asra’s eyes were sparkling. He took a loose view of lies and mischief; illusions of words were not so different from illusions of magic. “Not necessarily. Are you interested in him?”

You bit your lip. You’d entertained fantasies when it had first happened, briefly, fueled by the memory of how he’d asked you for help in the Hierophant’s realm and the uncharacteristic vulnerability on his face when he approached you about getting married. 

But of course the executor of his father’s will hadn’t cared whether you actually gave any impression of being a couple, and your real relationship hadn’t changed. Maybe he was more polite to you in court, but that was all. 

Asra shrugged. “He must have had some reason for not speaking up just now. You could tell him you’re willing to keep up the charade; ask if he wants to practice kissing.”

You blushed, and Asra slung an arm around your shoulders.

“I bet he’s into you too. How could he not be? You’re the  _ court magician,  _ and you’re devastatingly attractive -”

“Oh, stop-”

“-and clever, and the best magician in the kingdom - at least when I’m out of town - and did I mention attractive?” He pushed lightly at your shoulder. “Now go find your husband.”

“Thanks, Asra.” You hugged him tightly, and breathed in the smell of sharp magic.

You found Valerius in Nadia’s wine cellar, examining the wall of bottles. He jumped when you came in, but his shoulders relaxed when he turned to see you. “I suppose you told everyone the truth?” he said glumly.

“No, I left right after you did. I couldn’t let my  _ husband  _ run out of the room without going after him.”

The half-light of the cellar threw the bags under his eyes into sharp relief. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. This whole thing was my fault to begin with.” He sat down on a huge barrel of whiskey and put his head in his hands.

“We could keep pretending we’re in a relationship, if you want.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?” The last time he’d seemed this open was when you released him from his deal with the Devil. 

“Sure.”

“Thank you.” Valerius took your hand in both of his and kissed it gently. “What can I do for you in return? You refused money at the start.”

_ A kiss.  _ “I want to know why you care. It’s not like people wouldn’t understand why you needed to get married if you told the truth. I mean, Nadia married Lucio for business reasons.”

“You’re not Lucio.” He furrowed his brows. “Wait. I figured you’d make sure everyone knew we didn’t have a relationship because you were involved with someone else.” 

It took you a moment to catch his point. “No. I’m not involved with anyone else. Are you...?”

“No, of course not. I thought, you and Asra, you and Julian, you and Nadia… everyone loves you.”

You shrugged. You weren’t particularly tall, or enigmatic, or elegant, not like your friends were. “Not like that they don’t. I’ve just helped them.”

“You helped me, too.”

You sat down on the whiskey barrel next to his. You got the feeling this wasn’t going to be a short conversation. “You still didn’t tell me why you cared whether people thought we were dating or not.”

“Saying that it was all fake is basically saying I’m not good enough for you.”

You blinked. “What?”

“Being so unloveable that you would marry me out of pity does not reflect well on me.”

“ _ What?  _ I didn’t agree to marry you out of pity. Is that what you’ve been thinking?”

“What other reason did you have? You refused monetary compensation. And I know you well enough to know that you don’t make a habit of behaving irrationally.”

Because your heart beat faster when he asked you. Because he’d blushed the whole time. Because he drove the carriage to the courthouse and shook your hand warm and firm after you’d both signed your names. Because afterwards when you looked at each other across a room his smile was rightfully knowing, because a secret was something special. 

“It wasn’t any trouble,” you said. “I don’t mind doing favors for people. And I think our working relationship has improved.”

“I’ve thought so too,” he said softly. “You are… quite competent in court. Some days it feels like you and Nadia are the only other people in the world with any political sense.”

“We’re both lucky to have Nadia as a boss,” you said, unable to come up with an appropriate response to his compliment. “So. What will our suddenly-revealed secret love affair look like?”

“Can we hold hands?” said Valerius, a little too quickly. “Uh. If you want.”

You reached out and interlaced your fingers with his. “Can I compliment you in front of people?”

“You think people will think you’re serious?”

“Do you doubt my acting abilities?”

Valerius cracked a smile. “Not for a moment.” He squeezed your hand. “We should probably go back upstairs before anyone comes looking for us.”

“We’ll knock ‘em dead.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything at all?”

“A kiss? For covering your ass in front of Nadia earlier?”

Valerius laughed a little, tension loosening from his shoulders. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, just a quick kiss, but a pleasant one. He smelled like orange-blossoms and clean linen. “It’s good practice, anyway,” he said. “If we’re really doing this.”

\--

The next morning you found two dozen red roses in a too-small vase on the kitchen table. 

“I literally couldn’t find a vase big enough for them,” said Asra before he took another sip of coffee. 

“Who-” You turned over the card. The logo of a Heart-district florist on one side, gold stamped onto heavy paper, and on the other, a calligraphy  _ V.  _ Valerius. 

“If he wasn’t already your husband I’d say he was pursuing you,” said Asra. 

“We kissed yesterday.” You inhaled the heady fragrance of the roses and then flopped down in the chair opposite Asra. You had to lean around the flowers to see him. “He’s a good kisser,” you said helplessly.

“I know I was all gung-ho yesterday, but I thought about it overnight, and… far be it from me to discourage reckless behavior, but aside from that, how much do you really know about him? Isn’t he, like… evil?”

“He had made a deal with the Devil, like all the courtiers.”

Asra spit out a mouthful of coffee. “He  _ what?” _

“I didn’t tell you!?”

“ _ No!  _ I didn’t even think to check the roses for curses.” Asra pulled the tarot cards out of his pocket and started shuffling them.

“Apparently the Devil approached Valerius when Nadia was in her coma, and when Nadia and I found out about it he asked me to break the Devil’s bonds, which I did. Even Volta had a longer involvement with the Devil than he did.” 

Asra shook his head. “I don’t know who taught you to be such a kind and forgiving person, because it certainly wasn’t me.”

“Would it be too forward to go to his house to see him?”

“Probably less forward than sending a dozen roses. And overnight, too. He worked fast.”

“Alright.” You grabbed your bag off the chair where you’d dumped it last night.

“You’re going now? Like right now?” 

“I want to say thank-you for the roses. What, are you jealous?”

Asra flushed. “No, of course not, I-”

You hefted your bag onto your shoulder and stuck a hand in the pocket to make sure you had your key. “Don’t worry, if I see Julian around I’ll tell him to send you some roses too.”

You took one of Nadia’s least ornate carriages out to Valerius’ estate. The Court Magician title was old enough that this was apparently an official benefit of the position, along with fifty head of hog a year, although you’d never thought to claim the latter.

When you got to Valerius’ estate, there was already another carriage in the driveway, and you felt suddenly awkward. He had told you yesterday that he wasn’t seeing anyone else, and it hadn’t occurred to you that he’d have another visitor. 

But a footman and a butler had already appeared, and the footman was helping the driver separate the horse from the carriage and lead it to the stable. “I’m here to see Valerius, if he’s not too busy. I don’t have an appointment.”

“I’m sure he’d like to see you right away,” said the butler. “Please follow me.” She led you into the house and directed you into a sitting room.

Valerius was there, immaculately put together as always, sitting with Volta. That explained the other carriage outside. 

“Good morning,” you said. “I don’t mean to impose.”

“Nonsense,” said Valerius. “Come in. Sit down.”

You sat down across from Volta, who didn’t seem at all surprised to see you.

“I’ll go get wine,” said Valerius, and slipped out after the butler.

“You know, it only makes sense that you and Valerius are married,” said Volta. “He talks about you _ all _ the time.”

“He  _ does?” _ Suddenly you were a teenager again. “What kinds of things does he say?”  _ Does he like-like me? _

“He likes your hands. He says you’re very deft when you shuffle your cards, and that even though he’s not magical your magic is strong enough to feel. And of course he’s very grateful to you for freeing him from the Devil, and of course Volta is grateful too. And Volta thinks she suffered  _ much  _ more than Valerius. Especially if one judges by the number of years.”

“My hands? He thinks my hands are attractive?” You stuck your hands out in front of you, and looked at them, front and back. You’d never really considered their elegance before, but you supposed you could see what he might like.

“Hello, Valerius,” said Volta. “Why don’t you tell your spouse these things yourself?”

You whipped around to see Valerius standing behind you, balancing three glasses of wine and looking very pale. “Volta. Get out.”

Volta tilted her head and looked at him.

“Right, right, we talked about this. Volta, would you mind finding somewhere else to be for a few minutes? The garden, maybe? I’d like to speak with my spouse alone.”

“Of course, Valerius. Your garden is always very pleasant to visit.” Volta smiled up at you and then Valerius, and took the glass Valerius offered her on her way out.

“What was that about?”

Valerius put one of the remaining glasses down in front of you and cradled the other with both hands. “Volta is teaching me how to be more polite. Rudeness has not served me well in life, and I figured now was as good a time as any to make a change.”

“Like that first time we met?”

“I spilled my wine on you.”

“Looking back, I’m shocked that you’d waste good wine.”

“Making an impression on you was more important to me than wine, even if I regret the kind of impression I made. I don’t think I was drinking anything particularly good that day, anyway.”

“That’s probably why you were in a bad mood.”

“Probably. Vulgora was also trying to start a fight with Valdemar right before you and Nadia walked in, which was… stressful for everyone in the vicinity.”

“Really? Did they fight often?”

“Vulgora? Yes. They called Valdemar ‘Dr. Creepy’ behind their back, which may have been… true, but was still probably unwise to say. Valdemar threatened evisceration whenever Vulgora said anything to their face, but I never saw anything physical between them.”

Valdemar and Vulgora were both gone now. You didn’t know if they were dead, or if they’d been dead a long time ago. Certainly little humanity remained to either of them by the time you met them. 

“Do you mind if I say something serious?” said Valerius.

“Not at all. Shoot.”

“Is there any real difference between Valdemar and I?” he said softly. “Morally, I mean. We both made our deals with the Devil, we both did terrible things. I still can’t believe Nadia hasn’t had me executed for treason.”

“I think there’s a difference. Valdemar said they were working with the Devil for literally a thousand years, and any one of those days they could have woken up and decided, no more. You saw a chance to get out and you took it, just like Volta did. I think that’s where the real difference is. Vlastomil didn’t want to be separated, and Vulgora wouldn’t let me break their chains at all.”

“Break their chains?”

You blinked. “That’s how deals with the Devil appeared to me in the magical realms. You were a little bit monstrous, sure, but there was only one chain around you, and I could see your human form underneath. Vulgora’s true form was nothing but a swarm of beetles, and Valdemar” - you shuddered at the memory - “I can’t even describe. Churning flesh, eyes and bones and teeth bound together with the Devil’s chain.”

“That’s horrifying.”

“I’m glad you’re not.”

Valerius’ wine glass was empty now, and he looked a little shell-shocked. You wished you’d written down what happened in the magical realms and passed out copies so everyone could be on the same page. 

“Do you want a hug?”

“Yes, please,” he said, and you sat down on the settee next to him and wrapped your arms around him. He held you too, and pressed his forehead into your shoulder. “Thank you.” It was a long moment before he released you. 

“Can I say something not-serious?” you said when he did.

“Go ahead.” 

You took his hands in yours. “Do you really like my hands that much?”

Valerius blushed. “Am I allowed to?”

“Of course you are. We’re married, aren’t we? And as far as everyone else is concerned, we’re romantically involved, too.”

“Yes, I like your hands.” He gently lifted your right hand to his lips and kissed each of the knuckles. “They’re aesthetically pleasing. Can you say something you like about me so I feel less weird about it?”

“I like your hair. I don’t know how you get the ombre so perfect.”

“I go to a salon every two weeks and pay a lot of money so I don’t have to know how it works either.”

“And I like your eyebrows. You and Julian both have very strong eyebrows.”

“Thank you. Did you know Lucio always had to draw his? His makeup took so long in the morning that he seriously considered getting it tattooed on.”

“But then what if heavy eyeliner went out of style?”

“That’s what I said! I think the pain of getting a tattoo done on his eyelid may have also discouraged him.”

\--

Over the weekend Nadia hosted a party, and directed you and Valerius to the same room to get ready, the bedroom you stayed in when you were first investigating Lucio. You go immediately to the window and look out, planning to avert your eyes, since you don’t know how involved his preparations will be. 

But he clears his throat behind you, and you turn. “I may have consulted with Nadia. She tailored your clothes for the first masquerade, right?” He threw open the closet to reveal three sets of clothing. “I know you still have bigger things to focus on than clothing, so I took the liberty of making a couple of options for you.”

“Holy  _ shit.”  _ Each outfit was gorgeous and perfectly coordinated. There was a billowing white shirt with a red fencing cape cascading off the shoulder. And there was a midnight-blue tunic and pants with delicate pastel embroidery, green and lavender and white, creeping up from the hems. When you looked closely, the design was… magic. The leaves of magical plants, the silhouettes of the Major Arcana. 

Both were something you would have picked up and bought for yourself if you’d seen them in a store. But now your fingers itched towards the tunic. 

“Do you like either of them?”

“I love both of them. Did you design these?”

“Some of the little details, I did, yes.”

You touched the tunic, ran your fingers over the tiny shining eyes of the Magician.  _ Witch,  _ that’s what he’d called you the first time you met. But now he’d turned your magical associations into something delicate and beautiful. “Thank you, Valerius. Really.”

He blushed. “It was nothing.”

“Turn around and let me put this on.”

He turned around, and you changed facing opposite walls.

“Would you mind helping me with some buttons?” he said after a moment. 

Having already managed to get into the tunic (which fit perfectly, of course), you turned around. His shirt had a long line of tiny silk-covered buttons up the back. “Did you design this yourself too?” you said as you started at the base of his back.

“No.”

“Good, because I’d like to have words with whoever did.” When you finally got all the buttons done, your hands lingered, thumb brushing aside the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. 

He picked up a loose jacket off the bed and shrugged it on over the shirt. “Does that mean you’ll refuse to help me take it off at the end of the night?”

“Now, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.” You noticed now that this shirt was much tighter around his chest than what he normally wore, and that he was wearing high-heeled leather boots, and rather tighter pants than normal, too. “You look stunning.”

“You’re resplendent yourself, my dear. We shall be the envy of Vesuvia.” Then he pulled a chair and a mirror near the window and cracked open his makeup bag. 

You watched him paint his face on with something a little like awe. He carved his cheekbones out of his face with shading and made himself look alive again with blush. He stretched his eyelids to put eyeshadow on the water line. 

“Who taught you to do makeup?” you said. You imagined a young Valerius, watching his mother. But most nobles didn’t do their own makeup. Nadia certainly didn’t.

Valerius snapped a palette of eyeshadow closed. “Lucio.”

“Oh.”

“He was good to me,” he said quietly. “I know he did terrible things to many, many people, but he had his moments. He wasn’t cut out to have as much power as he did.”

“He stole my body for a while. Trapped me in limbo.”

“I’m sorry.” Valerius clasped your hand in his, released it, and sighed. “He was a mercenary before he became the Count. Death was no stranger to him, at least the kind of death he knew how to give. Violent death. I imagine in the end Death met him as a friend.”

You thought of Lucio in the howling tundra of the Devil’s realm, the terror and desperation in his face. Death would be better than the half-life Lucio had in the end. “Maybe.” Maybe thinking of what happened to Lucio as a happy ending helped Valerius stay sane, reconcile his attachment to Lucio and his current loyalty to Nadia.

Valerius stood up. “Thank you for listening to me ramble. Shall we join the party?” He offered you his arm, and you took it. 

This party was significantly more subdued than the masquerade, since Nadia was no longer trying to follow Lucio’s example. Colorful paper lanterns hung from the ceiling, and Natiqa and Julian were competing to see who could throw a peanut high enough to hit one. Nadia and Asra were playing cards: you imagined she was almost as proficient at cheating as he was.

Volta waved when you came in, but she was deep in conversation with someone you didn’t recognize. Since Lucio’s death Nadia had been recruiting new courtiers, people with actual expertise in city management. 

You drifted along after Valerius as he made conversation. Thankfully your title gave you enough mystique that people probably interpreted your silence as intelligent rather than helpless. But you were uncomfortable here. At the masquerade you’d had a goal, and you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself at a party without one. 

“Shall we go out to the garden?” suggested Valerius after a while, sensing your anxiety.

“Yes, please.”

The fountain burbled innocently now; you’d never guess that it could be a portal to other realms. Birds chattered and sang to one another, hidden among the leaves. 

You sat down together on a stone bench, and you leaned into him, and he looped his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer. “Thanks for getting me out of there.”

“I want you to be comfortable.”

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Please.” He turned his face down to you.

You took a breath and continued. “Not as practice or for pretend or anything, but just because I want to?”

He kissed you then, and spoke with his forehead still an inch from yours, too close for you to see his expression clearly. “I knew from the moment we first met that you were a powerful magician. But I never thought you’d have the power to enthrall me the way you have.” A beat’s pause, and Valerius pulled back, suddenly nervous. 

Your pulse jumped. “Wait. Are you accusing me of enchanting you? I genuinely can’t tell.”

“I’m trying to confess my love, but I guess I should have scripted it better.”

“Oh! I love you too, Valerius,” you said, and pulled him into your lap, kissed the words from his lips. He grabbed your shirt and kissed you back.

“Does this mean I can try to tell you more smoothly tomorrow?” he said breathlessly when he finally had use of his lips again.

“Darling, you can tell me you love me as many times as you like.” You kissed him again, aggressively, and groped at his chest, but his shirt was too stiff and tight. “Can I interrupt this tender emotional moment to express a base physical desire?”

_ “Please.”  _ You could feel that he was hard and pressing against you.

“I want your cock  _ inside _ me, Valerius -” he  _ groaned  _ at this “-and if you’re amenable, Portia did tell me we could use that room for the rest of the night, and she winked when she said it.”

**Author's Note:**

> it's always valerius o'clock somewhere and right now that somewhere is here


End file.
